This Can't be Life Read online

  “Let’s go inside,” he whispered in my ear. He lifted me out of the water and then himself. Nude and dripping wet, he again picked me up and carried me to his bedroom.

  With no regard to his bed linens, he placed our wet bodies onto his king-sized bed as I lay on top of him enjoying the feel of his hands on my wet skin.

  “What are you thinking about?” I asked, looking into his eyes.

  “I’m thinking you’re trying to use me for my body and I probably won’t ever hear from you again,” he joked, as he brought his mouth back to mine.

  “Damn it, Simone, I have to go to this meeting. Just tell me…did you give him some?”

  “I did, okay? Damn, happy now?” I laughed into the phone.

  “Thank goodness! The cobwebs have been removed! How was it? Tell me all about it!” Talise sounded excited, like she had gotten laid last night instead of me.

  “It was really nice. No biggie.”

  “I’m happy for you, girl. When are you guys going to see each other again?” Talise asked, sounding sentimental.

  “I don’t know and don’t really care about that, Talise. And why are you so happy for me?”

  “Because, Simone, you won’t give a man the time of day. I can’t recall the last time you even let a guy kiss you! That’s why I’m happy. You need to get out there and live a little, Monie. Plus, Deon seems like a really nice guy.”

  “Well, I don’t know him and I shouldn’t have slept with the damned man, Talise. They all seem like nice guys in the beginning. We had a good time. I enjoyed the moment. That’s it! No need to go digging deeper, Talise, and trying to marry me off! I had a fucking one-night stand. That’s not commendable! I feel like shit right now!” I needed to put my friend in check before she was carried away with her I want you to find love bullshit. Love doesn’t exist in my world. Love is for the weak and I wasn’t down for that one bit. Been there, done that, and got beat down in the process. It wasn’t happening again.

  “Whatever, Simone. Just know that life is too short for you to be holding onto bullshit from the past,” Talise lectured.

  “I’m not holding on to the past, Talise. I’ve let that shit go. But, I’ll never forget the past. EVER!”

  Talise

  I sat behind my desk, drumming my fingernails against the wood frame, trying my hardest not to be pissed off at Simone. She is infamous for pushing men away. No matter how well they treat her, she always has an excuse as to why the relationship won’t work when she never even gives it a chance. To say that I was stunned when she left the bar with Deon last night is an understatement.

  Simone and I we were sitting under the cabana at the Sky Bar on Sunset Blvd having drinks at around 9:00 last night. We were expecting Stacey to walk through the door at any minute. He’d just finished his shoot in Marina del Rey and was on his way. Stacey was always in and out, doing his own thing but, when it came to Simone and me, he was always there for us.

  When I saw Deon walk in, I gave Simone a heads up that he was heading straight to our table. I was looking forward to their banter and was curious as to the excuse she would give him for not wanting to talk to him this time. Simone was unwavering in her semi-disdain for men. She was scared to let anyone in, so she kept this armor around her that was impenetrable. I hated to see her like this, but I understood where it was coming from.

  “Hello, ladies. How you two doin’ tonight?” Deon asked, standing at our table with Darryl Withers by his side. Both were basketball players with the LA Lakers.

  “We’re fine, thanks,” I replied, while Simone sat there holding a patronizing smile.

  “I’m Darryl Withers,” he announced, with an air of arrogance, making sure he wouldn’t be ignored. We shook his hand as Deon kept his stare on Simone, who had yet to say one word.

  “What’s up, Simone? You can’t speak?” Deon asked, with a smile on his face. Simone never came off as rude. It seemed to be more of a shy thing when, in actuality, that was the furthest from the truth. Simone was aloof and didn’t get excited about much, especially a man.

  “Hi, Deon. Nice to meet you, Darryl Withers. I’m Simone Johnson.” She put the emphasis on their last names as Darryl had when he introduced himself. I kicked her under the table and tried to hold in my laughter. It was funny how this guy was throwing around his last name like we didn’t already know who he was. He said it like he thought we should get excited or something.

  “You still not dating, Simone? Or what is it tonight? Not interested or not in the mood to meet new people?” Deon asked, shining his beautiful smile on our table.

  “Actually, Deon, tonight’s your night. You ready to go?” she asked, with a smile on her face and her hand on her Rasta L.A.M.B. clutch.

  “Yup. Sure am.” He grabbed her hand and helped her up from the table.

  “Are you good, Talise? Stacey should be here in a few.” Simone asked.

  “Um, yeah, I’m cool,” I said, shaking my head up and down with my mouth hung slightly open. I was beyond surprised as I watched them walk out the side door of the bar.

  As if on cue, Darryl sat directly across from me and immediately began to get on my last damned nerve with his arrogance. He continually talked about himself for at least five minutes, never once taking a break to even take a sip of his drink. He didn’t ask me one question and had the nerve to ask if I was going home with him. As I saw Stacey walking in and heading toward the table, I decided to get a couple of things straight with Mr. Feeling-Himself-Too-Much.

  “Why would I go home with you? First of all, you don’t even know my name. Didn’t even bother to ask. Secondly, you don’t know one thing about me, so I see how you get down. I wouldn’t touch your dick with my toe. Now, if you’d excuse me, I’d appreciate it. I’m expecting someone and you’re in his seat.” I smiled sweetly, never once breaking our eye contact. He got up and walked off without another word, right in time for Stacey to slide into his seat. I couldn’t hold my laughter any longer as I recounted the events of the past 20 minutes to Stacey.

  A knock on my office door jolted me from my reverie. I looked up to see Jose Ramirez, the VP of the company I work for, standing in my doorway holding his briefcase. Most of the time, he wasn’t a bad guy to work for. He has a bad reputation for being flirty with the women in the office, but he’d never been inappropriate with me. Therefore, we had no problems.

  “Good morning, Talise. How’re you feeling today?” Jose asked.

  “Fine, thanks. How are you, Jose?” I asked, trying to sound like I really gave a damn, because I didn’t.

  “Pretty good, thanks.”

  “So today is the big day. Are you excited?” I got up, grabbed my briefcase, and passed him heading out of my office into the hallway.

  “Well, it’s not everyday that you close on a $20,000,000 project. We’ve put a lot of long hours into getting this contract, so I guess I can say I’m excited! It is well overdue. But, you know, Talise,” he reflected, “I can honestly say that without all the effort and overtime that you put into this project, we wouldn’t have gotten this far. You have really represented our firm well. With your face being the only one that they’ve really seen throughout these past few months, I’m sure they’ve taken a real liking to you. Especially that…what’s his name?” he asked, snapping his fingers, pretending to jog his memory. We walked side by side down the hall toward the conference room where the meeting was to take place.

  “Charles Immerson! Yeah, that’s his name. I’m sure that helped a lot.” He finished with a snide smile on his face. I had to stop and take a few breaths before I could even respond. Maybe I’m a little bit emotional because I’m about to come on my period, but I couldn’t let this one go unchecked. What he was implying pissed me off.

  “You know, Jose, I’m sure that the decision for Immerson, Bradley, and Williams to hire us as their advertising agency had nothing at all to do with Charles Immerson…how’d you put it?” I mimicked him, snapping my fingers, faking the need to jog my memory
as he had. “Taking a liking to me. I believe that’s the way you phrased it. I know this business like the back of my hand. That’s why I’ve signed more than a few billion-dollar companies with this agency — because we do good business. So, if you think that the only thing we have to offer our clients are good-looking women, then I’m not sure how you became vice president of this company. But I can tell you this. I’m sure that Charles Immerson didn’t build a multi-billion dollar business by making deals with companies just because they have pretty representatives.” I replied in the calmest voice I could muster. The nerve of some people sickens me. You can’t just say whatever the hell you want to say and think it is okay as long as you put it nicely. Shit, nice will still get you told off where I’m from.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. Talise, please forgive me if that’s the way it sounded. I’m just saying that you’re such a beautiful woman. Any man would have a hard time telling you anything other than what you’d want to hear. So please forgive me. I know you know this business very well — actually better than a lot of us.” He extended his hand to me. “All is forgiven?” he asked, sounding like Antonio Banderas.

  “Yes, Jose. All is forgiven. Just watch what you say to me. You know I can be pretty cutthroat when I feel someone is offending me, and that sounded pretty offensive. But, I forgive you for not thinking before you spoke.” I gave him a slight smile, letting it go for the sake of having to see him every damned day, although he knew what the hell he was saying and meant every word of it.

  “You can cut my throat all you like. I’m sure it would be enjoyable. Now let’s get to the conference room and get this meeting started,” he said, undressing me with his eyes. Up to this point, I’d never been the subject of his unprofessional advances, and I knew that I would have to get that in check real quick if it continued.

  Simone

  Surprisingly, I awoke to my Blackberry alerting me of a new text message. Two hours had passed since I’d gotten off the phone with Talise and I felt like a new person. My ears were no longer ringing from Talise’s way too early call and the nightmare was a distant memory. I picked up my Blackberry from my night table and was surprised to see a message from Deon. As my low battery signal beeped, I typed in a reply for him to call me and gave him my home number to do so. No more than one minute later, my cordless was ringing.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I asked, smiling into the phone. Deon seemed to be a cool guy, but my expectations were still very low.

  “You, Simone. You’re what’s up. What’re you doin’ today?”

  “Why? Are you coming to hang out with me or something?” I teased.

  “Yup. What’re we doin’?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Nope, sure doesn’t. What time you want me to pick you up?”

  “I’ll pick you up at noon. I’ll call you when I’m in front of your building. And, oh, I hope you don’t mind going shopping with me,” I stated, as an afterthought.

  “I guess I’ll take my chances. Don’t be late,” he said, sounding skeptical.

  After hanging up the phone, I felt invigorated. It was a beautiful day outside and the view of the Staples Center from my bedroom balcony made me chuckle. I walked into the bathroom and began running water into my spa tub. There wasn’t a better way to start my day than soaking in a hot bubble bath and letting the jets massage my body. As I relaxed in the warm water, my mind began to drift to thoughts of my first boyfriend, which reminded me to keep my guard up and to never trust a man.

  Byron Boyd was my first boyfriend and if I were to be completely honest, I’d have to say that he was really the only boyfriend I’ve ever had. When I started high school, I wasn’t into boys and dating. Thankfully, they all knew it and left me alone. It wasn’t until the end of my sophomore year that a boy finally caught my eye. Byron Boyd had just moved here with his family from Texas. He was a star football player and fine as hell. But even he had to badger me until I finally agreed to go out with him. That was the beginning of our junior year. Talise had a boyfriend, James, who she’d been with since we started high school. I tagged along with them on so many dates that I know he was happier than I was when I accepted Byron’s invitation to go see a movie. With James being the quarterback of our football team and Byron being the running back, they became fast friends. Nine times out of 10, we all went on dates together.

  Talise and I were virgins throughout high school and it wasn’t easy holding onto my panties, and my man, when all the girls were fawning over him like groupies. Byron tried and tried, but I was not giving it up. Once I saw the size of his dick, it scared me to even think of what he could do with that thing. When Talise lost her virginity on prom night, I wish she had spared me every horrendous detail. Her first time was not a great experience at all and that made me even more apprehensive about having sex.

  After graduation, Byron got a full athletic scholarship to USC and, of course, I followed. Talise was accepted at Harvard while James got a scholarship to Grambling State. It was hard when Talise left, but we talked daily. In the meantime, I stayed busy, studying business and keeping my eyes on Byron. The girls in college were 10 times worse than the girls in high school. They were on him like a magnet, so I definitely had my hands full with my studies and keeping the chicks off my man.

  During our freshman year in college, I gave my virginity to Byron, who then became very obsessive, possessive, and controlling with me. He had to know every move I made and with whom. At first, I thought it was cute. I thought it was love. Then, I just became afraid of him and did what he wanted me to do just to avoid a fight. In our third year, Byron transferred to Clark after red-shirting his second year due to a minor injury. I was heartbroken and was thinking of following him to Atlanta when Talise told me that she was moving back home to go to grad school at USC. She’d finished undergrad in three years and the timing couldn’t have been better.

  My last year of college flew by and, before I knew it, I was graduating and Byron was drafted into the NFL, to play for the San Diego Chargers. I decided to go to the Paul Mitchell School for Cosmetology in San Diego and moved in with Byron against my better judgment.

  Day by day, our relationship went from bad to worse. It finally came to an end after Byron returned home from being on the road for over a week and I made the mistake of not being there. Talise and I were out shopping and my cell phone battery was dead. As soon as I walked in the door, Byron beat me like I had stolen something from him. He stomped me like I was a man on the street. He wouldn’t even take me to the hospital after he’d finished with the grueling ass whooping. That night, I stayed awake and watched him as he slept so peacefully, like he didn’t have a care in the world. As if he hadn’t just beaten me like Mista beat Celie in The Color Purple. If I hadn’t been in so much pain, I would have killed him in his sleep.

  The next day, he threatened to kill me if I wasn’t home when he returned from his game in Oakland but, as soon as he left, I called Talise to come and get me. By the time she arrived, my wrist was swollen to about twice its normal size. I could barely move, let alone drive. Otherwise, I would’ve driven myself as far away from there as possible as soon as he closed his eyes the night before. When Talise saw how I looked, she became so enraged that she began tearing his house up and breaking all of his shit. I would’ve helped her if I could have but, instead, I pointed out things to break that she had overlooked.

  When I finally made it to the hospital, I was admitted with three broken ribs and a hairline fracture to my wrist from trying to ward off the kicks from his Timberland boots. Talise was pissed off at me because I didn’t want to file a police report, but when her parents, Mommy and Daddy Miles, came down, I had no choice. I knew they were right, but I didn’t want to see him in jail or lose his career. I just wanted him to get help. He was only repeating the cycle. His mom used to get beat downs, too, and his parents are still together.

  After I moved all my things out of his house, I transferred to the Paul Mitchell School
in Costa Mesa and moved back to LA. Byron’s lawyers offered me a high six-figure settlement to drop the charges against him, and I accepted under the condition that he got extensive counseling, including anger management. Everyone seemed happy about that, especially the district attorney, who seemed to be one of Byron’s biggest fans. Since then, our paths haven’t crossed once. I went on with my life and got my cosmetology license, never forgetting what happened and never looking back.

  Deon

  I deliberately took my time dressing so that when Simone arrived at my house, I wouldn’t be ready and she’d have to park and come up. My best friend, Nichelle, and her son, Tyson, who live a few floors down from me, were over and I wanted them to meet. Nichelle is a corporate trial attorney and can read a person like she’s known them their entire life. I knew that she would have an opinion about Simone whether good or bad. Nichelle can be intimidating when you first meet her, so I wanted to see if Simone could hold her own.

  At the sound of the doorbell, I heard Tyson running to the door with Nichelle only a few steps behind. I was sitting on the sofa putting on my shoes when she walked into the foyer.